The Keno Family's Adoption Story

Considering Teen Adoption?

2012-02-02T20:02:00.000-08:00

http://www.globaltvbc.com/6442568115/story.html

An Unreal "Adoption" Story

2012-01-20T09:24:00.000-08:00

http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Shows/The_Passionate_Eye/1274903384/ID=2171831360

Return to Sender

2012-01-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

http://www.cbc.ca/video/#/Shows/The_Passionate_Eye/1274903384/ID=2188410133

Pictures from Christmas 2011

2011-12-27T15:01:00.001-08:00

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care...ok so ours were lying on the floor...

Andrea, Krista and Heather our beautiful young ladies!

Karl was very pleased with this gift!

John loved this gift!

David with a little red nose!

So many gifts!

Jennifer (yes she has grown that much this year!) and Brent (who didn't grow at all this past year!)

The beautiful sunrise; thank you Andrea for catching this!

Aiden sprinkling feed for Santa's reindeers!

more Christmas 2011

2011-12-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have to include that we experienced a brown Christmas here in SK! A very rare occurence! The temperature was also above 0 for the weekend!

Christmas morning we started to get up at 8:30 and all met in the living room about 9. John prayed and then Krista handed out the stockings one by one, starting with the youngest. OK so David still thinks he is the youngest! Isaiah didn't seem to mind going second. As with our gifts, we all watch as each of us opens our stockings. It's always fun to see how creative Santa was in picking out stocking gifts.

(Each year in September we pick names and each of us buys one gift up to $25 for that person. This is a fun tradition that our younger children really enjoy! We take turns escorting them to a store to do their shopping. Our adult children seem to buy for everyone as they are all big on giving! John and I get what we think each child needs guided by a list from our adult children and what we see as being most beneficial to our younger children. I have no idea what the most popular toys are as we really don't buy into the commercialism of Christmas. What I did this year was took 4 of our youngest to Costco one shopping day and told them to pick out a few things they really liked then I took those ideas and bought them what they wanted paired with what I thought they needed. They ended up with some really great books, craft supplies, farm toys, stories on cds, clothes and dvds.)

We then went right into opening the rest of our gifts, with Krista acting as Santa and passing them out one by one. It took us two hours to open all the gifts and then about an hour to clean up the mess!

Once all the gifts were opened, I scurried about the kitchen and made a pan of sticky buns while Andrea made a small batch of gluten free cinnamon buns for Heather. We enjoyed a breakfast of hot sticky and cinnamon buns, hot apple cider and oranges. While the Advent candles burned and everyone was enjoying their breakfast, I read the last chapter in our Advent book "Tabitha's Travels". I highly recommend this book if you have older children. Our children, not to mention John, sat riveted as I read of Tabitha's adventures.

We purchased an 18 lb. turkey from the Hutterites this year and as our day progressed so did the aroma from the roaster! Andrea also had stuffing cooking in the slow cooker which added to the enticement. After breakfast some of us were playing "Puppyopoly" with a lot of barking going on, some were watching one of the new movies, some were looking at their new books and some were preparing dinner.

Our turkey dinner included turkey of course, stuffing, mashed potatoes, brussel sprouts, carrots, corn, turnip, cranberry sauce, buns and butter. For dessert we enjoyed pumpkin cheesecake and a vast array of squares, cookies, chocolate covered caramels and chocolate covered cookie dough as well as tarts.

After dinner and clean up, it was game on! Boy oh boy this is where people's true personalities shine through! We played Dutch Blitz, the Family edition of Cranium and then many card games including Crazy Eights, Golf, 21 and 31. John, Andrea, Krista and I played 31 late into the night! Krista was declared the victor!

Such a fun evening and none of us really meant what we said in the heat of the play!

I think this was my favourite Christmas ever, possibly because Krista and Isaiah are leaving this week to begin a life of their own. It could be that I am a Nana now or just knowing that we may never all be together again for the time preceeding Christmas, and the week after. Whatever the true reason I especially valued our time together this year. We have many changes coming to our family in 2012 with Krista and Isaiah moving to Toronto, Heather graduating in April after 8 years of post secondary education and Andrea looking towards a move as well. For John and I and our 5 kiddos at home, we are hoping to move back to Vancouver Island by July but we will see where God leads us in the next six months.

John has much of Krista and Isaiah's wordly possessions loaded up in the moving truck now. On Thursday morning we will pull out of our driveway headed to Toronto. We will meet Krista and Isaiah at the Toronto airport New Year's Eve and then help them move into their new digs on New Year's Day. John will fly back that night and I will follow the next week. I am already feeling somewhat melancholy thinking about saying goodbye to them but I also know it will be good for them to start their own life, their own traditions. I hope they will remember to include us in these traditions...

So from the Keno household to yours, Merry Christmas and may God bless your family abundantly in 2012!

Christmas 2011!

2011-12-27T05:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas has come and gone but it's memories will stay with me for a long time.
Christmas starts for us on December 24 with our family going to church together. This has always been our favourite service of the year and this year was no exception! We attended Andrea and Heather's little church that they have been attending the last 3-4 years. It is a tiny church if compared to other congregations, with 25 usually in attendance. The average age is "white-haired" which makes our girls far younger than all the other members.
Before we headed to church we took a few pictures and then surprised Andrea, our resident photographer, with a new Canon Rebel T2i camera. She was thrilled and started snapping pictures right away!
Christmas Eve service included a scrumptious turkey dinner with a big ice cream birthday cake for dessert. They celebrate birthdays once a month. One gentleman from their congregation and our Brent were the only two with birthdays this month and they are both on December 30th! We were laughing that Brent thought this was a surprise party for him!
When we finished dinner, I took David to the playroom so not sure what was happening in the meeting room. After a half hour or so we were called back in for the lighting of the Advent wreath and then we sang Christmas songs to a dvd. The pastor surprised Heather and Andrea with a video he had made up to the song "A Country Boy for Christmas"! A great laugh for everyone! He even included pictures of High Valley and Paul Brandt as the girls had just gone to their concert a couple of weeks ago.
David was a little restless during the Advent readings and dumped out a bowl of chocolate macaroons (but didn't break the glass bowl!) and a cup of water all over the floor. Heather, Jennifer and Karl helped wipe up the water, David picked up the chocolate and John had David sit with him for the rest of the evening.
After fond farewells at the church, we headed home to begin our family Christmas. We enjoyed nuts, oranges, spinach dip, crackers, fudge, cookies, squares, cheese and pop. We gathered in our teensy, tiny living room. In the light of the Christmas tree, John read the account of Jesus' birth from Luke and then Krista played Santa Claus and handed out 2-3 presents per person. We only open one gift at a time and acknowledge who it is from; the receiver takes a guess as to what they think it is and we all watch them open it.
After preparing Santa's snack, Coke and a Nanaimo Bar, leaving a special key on the front door for Santa as we don't have a chimney, and sprinkling Reindeer food on the lawn it was off to dreamland for our children. Aiden had the pleasure of a sleepover on the couch with Andrea-he was very excited! The last child's eye closed at 11:30 and then Santa filled up the stockings and headed straight to bed!

Amos 5

2011-12-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

21-24"I can't stand your religious meetings.
I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions.
I want nothing to do with your religion projects,
your pretentious slogans and goals.
I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes,
your public relations and image making.
I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music.

When was the last time you sang to me?
Do you know what I want?
I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
That's what I want. That's all I want."

Brent's 17th Birthday Party

2011-12-19T06:11:00.001-08:00

A Poem

2011-12-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

I thank God for bitter things;
They’ve been a ‘friend to grace’;
They’ve driven me from paths of ease
To storm the secret place.
I thank Him for the friends who failed
To fill my heart’s deep need;
They’ve driven me to the Savior’s feet,
Upon His love to feed.
I’m grateful too, through all life’s way
No one could satisfy,
And so I’ve found in God alone
My rich, my full supply!

Florence White Willett

Inspiring Adoptions

2011-12-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

a great adoption blog!

http://inspiringadoption.wordpress.com/

A Church That is Embracing Adoptive/Foster Families

2011-12-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

Here are some creative ideas one Canadian church is implementing:

Adoption Sundays – In November, during Adoption Awareness Month, Lifecentre introduces adoptive families onstage during the service. “We just brag on them and love on them and highlight their story,” says Kim. “Last November we featured three different families who had adopted from three different avenues of adoption – public, private and international. We tied it into the message that we are all adopted into Christ’s family – or need to be. In closing, I invited people to contact me and tell what God did in their heart that day. Hundreds of emails came back, hundreds. That’s when we knew that God had released a new, fresh anointing on adoption care.”
Honouring foster parents – On Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, Lifecentre makes a point of celebrating foster families. Last Mother’s Day they presented one mother of many foster children with a huge bouquet. “To have the church behind these incredible families is so important,” says Kim, “because they’re just working hard. It’s not easy and they are not compensated well; they just genuinely have a heart to serve children. As a church I think we can just be their greatest cheerleaders, and that little bit of encouragement propels them further into their calling.”
Children’s ministry – As the children’s pastor at Lifecentre, Kim has worked hard to ensure that Lifecentre’s children’s ministry is an inclusive environment for adopted children and children in foster care. “We really empower our Kids’ Church teachers with how to work with foster kids, how to work with adoptive kids, and to be very sensitive – even in the language they use. And we’ve gone that extra step to make sure our kids are really safe; we have a computer system where parents check in their child and receive a unique nametag and number each week. So this makes our church very attractive to foster and adoptive families, especially with open adoptions and things like that.“Our generation is just now starting to understand the importance of adoption and putting all those pieces together, but this [new] generation . . . I want to empower them from the get-go. I’ve been able to talk to the children very openly and very honestly about adoption and I’ve heard children in our kids’ ministry say, ‘I want to adopt.’ That just thrills me. And I really encourage the young people in our church to pursue a career in social work or adoption law because we need Christians standing in the gap in these places. And many of them have done that. That is really, really exciting to me – that God is going to put in place these young people who have a passion for Him and a passion for these children.”

New creative endeavours – In the past year, Lifecentre has seen God breathe life into new aspects of their adoption ministry. Moved by the Holy Spirit, Kim wrote a children’s Christmas musical about adoption called Room for Me which was performed by some of Lifecentre’s kids. The feature song, also called Room for Me, is available on iTunes. In another creative endeavour, Kim wrote Our Chosen Child, a picture book for children that celebrates the positive aspects of adoption. “I didn’t want any adopted child to feel like they’ve been given up or are a second choice,” Kim explains. “I wanted to empower them with the story that they have been chosen by a family.”
Wrap-around care – When a family brings home a newly-adopted child, Lifecentre members offer support in practical ways. “We have volunteers who do really tangible things like providing a meal or spending a couple of hours in the house doing housework or laundry so mom and dad can spend time building attachment with their child.”

by Kim Sabourin Lifecentre Ottawa, Ontario

Photolist

2011-12-11T14:57:00.000-08:00

http://www.adoption.ca/canadas-waiting-children

If you are interested in a domestic adoption in Canada you can apply for a password to view Canada's Waiting Children photolist that has pictures of some of the children in Canada who are waiting for a forever home.

Trimming the Tree

2011-12-11T14:07:00.000-08:00

Our family tradition has been to go into the bush (or a tree farm) altogether and cut down a Christmas tree. This year once again, our tradition has gone out the window! Our kids school was selling trees so I ordered one. When I picked the kids up on Wednesday I also picked up our tree. So much for hunting and gathering together as a family!

Later on Wednesday, our whole family gathered to drink hot chocolate and trim the tree! I feel so, so blessed to be here near our whole family this Christmas and even though we missed our Christmas tree hunt tradition, it was still wonderful to be together to decorate it.

We had many laughs reminiscing about years past-the many adventures we have had in snow and mud harvesting our tree and who ALWAYS puts the lights on the tree! John was ahead of our child who ALWAYS puts the lights on and had them all on before she arrived. It was a fun time and reminds me once again how important family and traditions are to children.

Do you have room in your family and traditions to include a child who may otherwise never know the beauty of family at Christmas?

"Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!" ~Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, 1836

Christmas Preparations

2011-12-11T13:56:00.000-08:00

The gingerbread tree coming together.

Piles of gingerbread men ready for Christmas!

Ta dah! The gingerbread tree is completed!

David is decorated and ready for Christmas!

Christmas is in Two Weeks!

2011-12-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

In two weeks time these will be replaced!

Are We Silent About Things That Matter?

2011-12-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." Martin Luther King Jr.

Please join with me in reading about a family that is serious about the precious life of a little girl.

http://theblessingofverity.com/

What are you and I speaking out about? Are they things that matter to God?

Coffee and Woolies

2011-12-11T13:42:00.000-08:00

Independently, David chose to make a pot of coffee! Go David!

Aiden was all bundled up one day this week for the -26 with the windchill weather. BRRRRR!

A Day in the Life...

2011-11-30T10:18:00.000-08:00

I thought it was about time to give a day in the life of the Keno's update:

John and I get up between 6 and 6:30 so that we can have time to talk, read our Bibles and pray together before our children start their day. We just started reading "Advent and Christmas: Wisdom from Henri Nouwen". He does a good, gentle job of reminding us what's most important during Advent-focusing our eyes on God not what the world has to offer us. Yesterday his Advent Action was to look for one small sign that God is present. My small sign came as I drove Brent into school. We cranked the "Glee" Christmas cd and I got to watch JOY in action! Brent loves Christmas music!!!

At 7:45 our real day starts as John heads out the door to his construction job-think outdoor construction in Saskatchewan in November-brrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! Our adult daughter arrives to help me get our 5 kiddos ready and out the door. Three of our children have a bath every morning so one of us does the bathing/dressing assembly line and the other prepares lunches, snacks and breakfast.

We try to get everyone to the table for 8:10. This month we are reading through Luke 1 and I usually ask the kids a question or two about what we have read. We have memorized Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God". Such an important verse to remember everyday! By 8:25 everyone is heading to the one bathroom we have to brush teeth and finish any grooming that needs to be done. Now it's time to get everyone into snow gear!!! I usually have a sweat worked up by the time everyone is in and zipped up! D really isn't keen on wearing outergear so we usually have a struggle-thus the sweat!

Hopefully we have remembered to start the van so it is thawed out so we can head straight to the school. We pile in the van at 8:45 to get to the local elementary school for the 8:50 bell. Once the 4 kiddos who attend this school are in the door it's a 20 minute drive to take B into High School. When Brent started school this year we would walk him up to his locker and class. We are trying to give him more autonomy so now we drop him off at the front door of the school and watch him until he gets in the front door.

With B safely at his school now I usually do a couple errands and then head back to our village where I care for my grandson for an hour or two. At noon I pick our 4 children up and we head home for lunch. Scurry, scurry and back to the school by 12:50! In the afternoon I do dishes, laundry, floors, and then try to get some scrapbooking or reading done. This month has been busier with Christmas shopping, wrapping and baking happening. Tomorrow is the day we pull all of our Christmas decorations out so that will keep me busy for the rest of the week!

School gets out at 3:30 so I try to get to the school by 3:25 and greet them at the door. Home for a snack and then off to pick up B at his bus stop which is a 3 minute drive away. Our adult daughters pick B up about 1/2 of the afternoons which is a big help.

Once we are home I read through the boys' back and forth books so I know what they did at school-their successes and their struggles. I also wade through the umpteem notices that come home from school and the mail. Our adult daughters pick up our mail for us and drop it off to us most days. This is the time of day for play dates, piano practice, homework, dvds and making dinner.
J gets home from work at about 6:30 and then we dive into dinner. This month we are reading "Tabitha's Travels" an advent storybook and we light an advent candle each night. The kids help prepare dinner and set the table. After dinner we all help to clear the table and take turns washing the dishes. From now until 8 we get pajamas on, have showers and have some free time for playing, a dvd, or reading. At 8 it's time to get teeth brushed and into bed for reading and then listening to stories on cds. The most popular ones are Adventures in Odyssey. Most evenings our dog and I walk with our older daughter from 8:30-9:30. Then it's home to throw in some laundry, check emails and into bed.

Anyway, that's a peek into our home for a day. Good night!

Wait No More

2011-11-12T07:41:00.000-08:00

A great new book about a family who have chosen adoption to build their family.

Halloween!

2011-11-12T07:24:00.000-08:00

We trick or treated around our small village for 1 1/2 hours. It was a clear, cold night and there were many houses with their doors open to welcome all the cute kiddos. After trick or treating we came back to a nice warm fire, roasted weiners then headed in for a nice dinner.

All dressed up for trick or treating!

Lighting up the pumpkins.

Cowboy fearing for his life as Batman is wielding his gun.

Pumpkin Carving

2011-11-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Aiden's third pumpkin carving year and he knew exactly what to do!

Brent always preferred if others would clean out his pumpkin but this year he cleaned it out all by himself! As you can see by the look on his face he wasn't thrilled but he did it!

Dad giving pumpkin carving 101 lesson.

Happy 11th Birthday Aiden!

2011-10-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

Aiden you have brightened up our home for two years now! Thank you for coming with us from Bulgaria to Canada! Love you Baby Monkey!

David in the Kitchen; Happy 24th Birthday Andrea and Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-10-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

Brent asked for a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, went face first into it and came up for a photo shoot!! Funny guy!

Ranch Camp, High School and a Favourite Mug

2011-09-25T10:11:00.000-07:00

Aiden's favourite mug. His aide from "home" sent it to him. He drinks his bedtime milk in it every night!

Jennifer heading to ranch camp!

Brent's first day of High School! He is in Grade 12 this year!

Jennifer tired but happy after a week at camp!

Randoms

2011-09-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

Another lamp shade bites the dust! I wonder what D has against lampshades?

Chuck E. Cheese! Saying Goodbye to Howard. After 15 months of chasing Handsome Howard around our neighbourhoods, we took him to the Humane Society so he could find a new home. We were sad to have to do this but realized he was never going to obey us. We hope he finds a wonderful family who has more time to train him or chase him!

2011-08-15T19:07:00.000-07:00

Aiden is so excited to see pictures of a little Bulgarian girl with Down Syndrome who just arrived home with her Daddy and Mommy!

Looking at pictures of our friends who just arrived back in Canada and introduced their 3 year old birth daughter to her newly adopted 3 year old sister!

David examining his food before he chowed down.

Turkey sliders

and the cutest

little hot dogs

ever!

Thanks for

another great

family dinner

Andrea!

Some beautiful sunflowers to brighten up my kitchen.

David hosing Pooh Bear down.

Jennifer reading up in our tree on a summer's day.

2011-08-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

I haven't written much about life here in Saskatchewan lately so here goes...

The sun shines all the time!!! (well almost all the time) How lovely it is to wake up, push back the curtains and see SUNSHINE! I think living for 13 years in a west coast valley has left me sun deprived and so this prairie sunshine is much appreciated!

Two of my daughters and I went to a lovely Sound of Music performance yesterday. Still humming the beloved songs today! The play included lots of humour which was well received. We all enjoy a good laugh don't we?

Speaking of a good laugh, I had the best belly laugh yesterday on the way home from the play...I hope you will get the humour but it might be a had to be there moment. My daughter was telling me her and her sister were watching a parade earlier this summer and in the parade here comes a sedan; a dirty sedan, no pom poms, no balloons, no streamers... In the front seat are a middle aged couple and in the back seat is a youngish girl. None of them were waving, strange for being in a parade... The only explanation my daughters could come up with is that they took a wrong turn into the parade route! Whoops! Can you imagine the conversations going on in the car. "I told you not to turn right!" "I am going to die if I see any of my friends!" "Well you're the one who needed to go to ...!" "Should we wave?" "Does anyone have any candies I can throw out to the kiddies?" I will never know who these folks were but whoever you are thank you for the laugh! I needed it! I guess we laugh the most and loudest when we see others in an embarrassing situation that we could so easily see ourselves! Did I ever tell you about the time I turned onto one of our local roads that had just been paved, and the nice workman YELLING and running behind my old station wagon full of kids as we drove down the nice new fresh pavement? Anyway I could so easily see myself in the middle of a parade except I would be driving the wrong way!!

We have number 3 and 4 yellow labs now. We brought home number 1 when our adult girls were 1, 3 and 5. She terrorized the girls, did not sit still for four years, dug huge craters in our yard, chewed every toy in the neighbourhood. I talked our eldest daughter into taking "Britta" for a walk one day. "Sure you can go on your roller blades, that sounds like fun." Well it was fun until Britta saw a cat! Daughter #1 ended up in the ditch with some minor injuries and has never let me forget that incident!

Britta lived until she was 11 1/2 and that was a painful day at the Keno household when we had to say goodbye to our friend. She was a good dog who always let us know if someone or an animal was getting close to our rural home.

Dog 2 was "Rigger". He was my hands down favourite! He was so mellow! My kind of dog!! The only mischief I remember Rigger getting into was following our kind neighbour when he took his dogs out for a walk, but he was just a puppy, who could blame him? Rigger was our biggest, most handsome lab. He shed like crazy and when he was napping would barely lift his head, even for a bear! Our friend, a big man who Rigger had never met before, came late one night to crash at our place before going fishing in the early morning. He walked in, handed Rigger a toy, stepped over him and carried on to bed. Some watch dog!!

One of the most painful days of my life was last year when we had to say our final goodbye to Rigger. I still get very emotional thinking about it. He was 13 1/2.

Dog 3 is "Mya" our beauty! She is very feminine and very hyper! Our adult daughters picked her out and brought her home..."a good companion for their younger siblings". Mya is three now and still as hyper as ever! Her teething ring was our wooden table bench-at least there is enough board still to sit down on!! Mya's story is still being written...

Dog 4 is "Howard". Now don't get me wrong, Howard was one of my favourite uncles' name so I don't want to knock the name. But what do you think of when you hear that our dog's name is Howard? You probably pretty muched nailed it. We adopted Howard last year from Moose Jaw. No, before we came here... We flew him out to the Island via WestJet, picked him up at the airport and pretty much by the time we got him home knew what we were in for... How many times now has Howard run away??? And why do we keep retrieving him? When you call him he just stands there and looks at you. Is he that disobedient or just ____? Handsome Howard is 5 now, is very stocky and Mya's best friend. His story continues also...

Well other than talking about how much sunshine we have been enjoying, this post hasn't been much about Sk has it? I will try to write about our time here in Sk another day. I am really missing the ocean and beautiful BC lakes, the mountains, and more specifically my friends and extended family, Chemainus Theatre, Parksville Beach, Sproat Lake, Coombs; so maybe it's best I write another time...

Enjoying Summer Sunshine!

2011-08-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

Aiden spends hours each day outside-he loves playing with the hose whether it is on or off.

Another sunny, sunny day in Saskatchewan. Does the sun shine here everyday? Seems like it to me!

2376 hours of sunshine a year in Moose Jaw (right up the road)

The apples are starting to get some size and colour!

The zucchini and pea patch.
The potato patch; it is just starting to flower.

Little Princes

2011-08-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

I am reading this great book right now. The author decided to volunteer at an orphanage in Nepal to impress his friends and his life was changed forever! A great summer read that I found at Costco.

Are You Considering Becoming a Mega Family?

2011-07-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

If you are a big adoptive family, or are hoping to become one I have a few blogs to share with you. These ladies, the mom's of BIG families, built through birth and adoption, have much wisdom to share! Enjoy!

www.theadoptioncounselor.com

www.vancouverislandadoption.blogspot.com

www.thebodiebunch.blogspot.com

www.megafamilyliving2.blogspot.com

Can You Help?

2011-07-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Summer Living

2011-07-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

Aiden proudly displays our first zucchini of the season! Tomorrow we will be picking peas!

Our three adult daughters and our grandson came over for dinner tonight! The best dinners are when they come over! One of our daughters looked at the spread and asked me if we eat like this every night. She said "Everytime I come over you have a great dinner!" I just laughed and said "That's because you bring most of the food!"-the truth!

(the guacamole seasoning from Epicure is delicious!)

Andrea flipping burgers for our barbecue!

Andrea brought me some beautiful sunflowers to brighten up my summer!! Thank you Andrea!

Giant Slip and Slide Fun and Mommy's Helper

2011-07-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Aiden Has Been Home for Eighteen Months!!!

2011-07-14T09:18:00.001-07:00

This week we had Aiden's 18 month home visit with a social worker from Sunrise Adoption Agency. Eighteen months?? is that all? It feels like Aiden has always lived with us! It is so nice to be able to report that everything is going great with Aiden's placement. The honeymoon period has long past and he still isn't showing any major problems. He has shown us here and there what he was subject to in the orphanages he lived in but this seems to help him to push in closer to us for his security.
His names for me range from "Momma Mary" to "Kanga" to "Momma Cow" and a few in between! I am definitely his rock. He does not appreciate it when I leave the house but knows I will be coming back. Is this really different from any child though? I think all children would love for their Mommy to be in the house waiting for them every day. Hmmm even adult children like it when Mom is home for a chat!
The only time Aiden shows inappropriate behaviour is when people are too lenient. We have come to understand he needs strict guidelines and when those are in place he flourishes! When they are not in place he acts out!
Aiden received the Citizenship Award at his school this year and he had the loudest cheer during the awards assembly. I am so thankful to God that He whispered in our ear to go and get this little guy-we never would have thought this up on our own! Aiden is a blessing to so many people!
He loves Jesus and wants to watch the Bible story dvd's we have all the time. He also loves going to Sunday School. He is a prayer warrior! If you want a short prayer before a meal, don't ask Aiden to pray as by the time he finishes the food is cold!
Aiden still prefers his feet to be on the ground but he will play on structures at parks now. We tried again this summer to get him on a horse but it was a no go. He is still very cautious around water but we did get him out to the middle of the shallow end of the swimming pool so that's a major improvement from him only sitting on the steps.
The most endearing quality Aiden has is his gratefulness. Almost everyday he thanks John and I for bringing him from Bulgaria to Canada! He is always so appreciative of what we cook for him. "MMMM That's my favourite!" is a common refrain we hear! Makes you feel like you are a great cook!
I really look forward to what the next 18 months brings us with this little ray of sunshine!

Brick Factory Open House

2011-07-09T12:43:00.000-07:00

John and I enjoy taking our children out on "field trips". Many outings are too overwhelming for David so it is sometimes a challenge to find the right fit. In June our daughter told us about the Claybank Brick Factory Open House. It was a great fit for our family! We had a beautiful drive out to the plant then enjoyed burgers, pop and Saskatoon pie for lunch. After we dodged the bouncy castle we took a walking tour of the plant which was in operation until 1989. We also enjoyed a hayride out to the claybank where the clay for the bricks was "mined".

www.claybank.sasktelwebsite.net/

Thanks Andrea for the heads up about this event-I hope you can come with us next year!

Couponing

2011-07-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Andrea and I have been having fun couponing lately. I couponed years ago-especially when the grocery store I shopped at had triple coupon Wednesdays! The last few years I have concentrated more on collecting Airmiles at Safeway. We have brought our daughters home many times from the Airmiles we collected from our grocery shopping.
This box of Chocolate Cheerios was free with a coupon on June 21 only! I actually remembered the date and we got to try them for free! Everyone gave them a thumbs up! I always buy plain Cheerios as these have been Brent's favourite for years, sometimes I buy Rice Krispies and I buy Kashi cereals when they are on sale for airmiles. So Chocolate Cheerios will have to be either on Airmiles, a very good sale or will have to keep handing out coupons for our family to enjoy them again.
Happy shopping!

For this child I prayed; and Jehovah hath given me my petition which I asked of him:

2011-07-09T12:22:00.000-07:00

1 Samuel 1:27

I am so thankful to God for lending us our 8 beautiful children.

"Now I give [them] back to the Lord. [They] will belong to the Lord all [their] lives.

1 Samuel 1:28

I have been asked a few times if we are planning to adopt again... No we aren't but...we weren't planning to adopt when we adopted David...or Jennifer and Karl...or Aiden for that matter. We are beyond thrilled with the children God has brought to our family and could easily say that's enough. We feel it is up to God to tell us when our family is complete so we wait on Him.

2011-07-09T11:19:00.000-07:00

My garden is miniscule compared to the gardens we had in BC, but I am having fun caring for it. We have potatoes, peas, zucchinis and tomatoes. The other veggies I planted died from the cold-who knew mid June would be too cold to be planting veggies!

I planted nasturtiums and they are very leafy and beautiful but so far no flowers... I also planted petunias and pansies in pots on our deck. I thoroughly enjoy my time watering them each day. It's my few minutes of quiet (unless Aiden catches me sneaking out the door!) that I enjoy each day. I am thrilled to see new growth, new flowers blooming and veggies starting to form!
How does your garden grow???

Bloom Where You are Planted

2011-07-09T10:42:00.001-07:00

As I was sitting in our tiny front yard the other day, I was pondering about who planted the beautiful tree that shades our front yard now. I wonder how many years ago they planted it and what their reason for planting it was? We have planted many trees, bushes, perennials in the different homes we have lived in; I wonder if those plants are flourishing or if they have been cut down? I wonder if another mom sits watching her kiddos play and thinks about who might have planted the shade tree she is sitting under? This reminds me of the saying "Bloom where you are planted."

"And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life....Friends stay where you were called to be. God is there. Hold the high ground with Him at your side." from 1 Corinthians 7 The Message

I have to say I would never have thought I would be living in Saskatchewan, not surrounded by mountains, forests and the ocean. But after living here for seven months, I can say I am enjoying my time here. There is beauty in the wide open sky, the yellow canola fields, sunshine-so much sunshine!!! So I have decided while I am here I am going to bloom!

This week I met with our Pastor and will be working with him to connect with young, single Moms in Moose Jaw who are in need of support, whatever that may look like. I think God has used many experiences in my life to prepare me for this time and I trust that He will work through me so that I can help these young ladies be all God made them to be!

As I head back outside for another warm, sunny afternoon watching my two youngest boys as they splash around in the pool, I will be praying for the people who planted our shade tree and for all the moms and dads who are sitting underneath a tree we have planted over the years. I will be praying that they would choose to be and do what God has designed for them to be, so that their lives will bring Glory to Him!!

Another School Year is Over!

2011-07-01T17:50:00.000-07:00

Karl won the bike rodeo for Grade 5's at his school!

Our teensy, tiny front yard.

We renovated the living room last week.

Jennifer got the top score for the Scholastic online Challenge amongst the Grade 6's at her school and received a silver badge for having a school average in the 80's!

Aiden won the Citizenship Award at his school!

The kids come home from their school for lunch; this was our last lunch of the school year.

David leafing through his year book; Jennifer made the duct tape roses!

We decorated cupcakes for our Canada Day celebration! Thank you Heather for the cupcakes, icing and flags!

A very Proud Canadian!

David and Aiden having some fun in the sun

John and Karl off on their annual wilderness adventure! Have fun guys!

The Life We Were Given

2011-06-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

Here is another book about the rescue of children from Vietnam in the '70's. Looks like another great read!

After Sorrow Comes Joy!

2011-06-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

This is a book about Cherie Clark a lady who was instrumental in rescuing hundreds of orphans/abandoned children in Vietnam in the '70's. I can't wait to read this one!

more adoption books

2011-06-22T16:34:00.000-07:00

David and Mya Chat and Let's Paint the Livingroom!

2011-06-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

Dallas Valley Ranch Camp Open House

2011-06-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Summer time and time to think about going to camp! One of our children will be attending Dallas Valley Ranch Camp near Regina this summer. A couple weeks ago they had an open house so we took in a few of the camp activities on our tour. Four of our kids loved horseback riding-number 5 said "No way!!!"

I Want to Be More Like Job

2011-06-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

Job 29:12-16
The Message (MSG)
7-20 "When I walked downtown
and sat with my friends in the public square,
Young and old greeted me with respect;
I was honored by everyone in town.
When I spoke, everyone listened;
they hung on my every word.
People who knew me spoke well of me;
my reputation went ahead of me.
I was known for helping people in trouble
and standing up for those who were down on their luck.
The dying blessed me,
and the bereaved were cheered by my visits.
All my dealings with people were good.
I was known for being fair to everyone I met.
I was eyes to the blind
and feet to the lame,
Father to the needy,
and champion of abused aliens.
I grabbed street thieves by the scruff of the neck
and made them give back what they'd stolen.
I thought, 'I'll die peacefully in my own bed,
grateful for a long and full life,
A life deep-rooted and well-watered,
a life limber and dew-fresh,
My soul suffused with glory
and my body robust until the day I die.'

Waiting To Belong-a Canadian Adoption Ministry

2011-06-14T08:18:00.001-07:00

http://waitingtobelong.ca/

Two More Books on Adoption

2011-06-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family on Adoption

2011-06-14T06:12:00.000-07:00

http://vimeo.com/17611953

Cry of the Orphan

2011-06-14T06:07:00.001-07:00

http://www.cryoftheorphan.org/Videos.aspx

Fun for Adoption!

2011-06-14T05:56:00.001-07:00

http://www.carnivalforcharity.com/

Kendall and Tommy’s Wedding Gift

2011-06-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

Kendall and Tommy’s Wedding Gift

Adoption not Abortion

2011-06-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

Summer Reading

2011-06-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading a great book by Terri Blackstock, "Intervention". Click on the link below to watch the trailer and the trailer for Book 2 in the series. I recommend you put these books on your summer reading list!

http://www.terriblackstock.com/books/

Mexican Dinner, Burger Cupcakes and Dallas Valley Ranch Camp

2011-06-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

10 Ways to Pastor Adoptive Parents and Those Considering Adoption

2011-06-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

10 Ways to Pastor Adoptive Parents and Those Considering Adoption

Human Trafficking in Canada

2011-06-01T09:03:00.001-07:00

2011-06-01T08:59:00.000-07:00

Human Trafficking

2011-06-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

this is a brief blog post about human trafficking in the U.S.

Modern-day Human Trafficking…right here in the US
By fortheloveoforphans, January 25, 2011 2:44 pm
Human trafficking is alive and sickening. It happened today, and it’s happening at this very moment in many places in our world. But, it doesn’t just happen “over there”. It happens here, too. In America. Have I seen it personally? No. And I hope I never do. But just because I don’t want to see something, doesn’t mean it won’t happen. And, ignoring it doesn’t make it go away.

When I learn of an injustice or see a terribly sad news story somewhere in the world I have three choices. 1. I can turn the channel and ignore it. 2. I can pay attention, learn and educate myself and others about it. 3. I can do something about it. For too many years I chose option 1. Now, I choose option 2 and option 3. I can’t save the world; I know that. But if enough of us get together and learn, educate and do something, we can change the world…one person, one place, one situation at a time!

If you, like me, want to do something to stop this inhumane who-knows-how-much-money-it-makes “industry”, be creative! Buy coffee, sign a petition, donate money to a cause that is working to end human trafficking or tell your friends about it and ask for their ideas. I’m sure we can ALL think of something!

A Florida newspaper printed this story in its January 23, 2011 edition. To read the full story, click here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/01/23/2030710/modern-day-slaves-story-repeats.html

http://www.mercyhousecoffee.org/2011/01/

Another Book on Adoption

2011-05-31T18:28:00.000-07:00

A Great Article on Adoptions in Haiti

2011-05-31T10:16:00.000-07:00

Summer '10
Adopting From Haiti: What will Happen Next?

Update March 2011
Haiti joined the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption on March 2, 2011 as predicted in the article below. This probably means that no new adoptions will be permitted to British Columbia until Haiti puts an adoption process and administration in place which is compliant with the Convention. Unfortunately for the children of Haiti that may take a considerable period of time.

Update January 2011
The International Reference Centre for the Rights of Children Deprived of their Family (ISS/IRC) takes a look at Haiti, one year after the earthquake.

*********************

Original Spotlight Article

Prior to the earthquake in Haiti that country had many orphans, estimated by various sources as between 50,000 and 380,000. Since the tragedy in January the number has increased, but no one knows yet by how many thousands. The CBC estimates there are currently in excess of 400,000 orphans in Haiti. The state of child welfare was perilous before the earthquake, with a 10% mortality rate in children under age 4 and an estimated 7% enslaved. Things are worse now. The need for permanent families for children with no options left in Haiti is great.

Adoption agencies around the world have been inundated with requests to adopt the orphaned children of Haiti. These include families who have never thought of adopting before, families who have been considering adoption for a while, and many who have homestudies ready and are waiting for a child.

At the time of the earthquake there were 3 groups of orphans:

1.Orphans living in orphanages who were in the process of being adopted by a family in Canada, the USA, Holland, France or other countries. The paperwork in these adoptions had reached a sufficient point that the governments of the receiving and sending country were satisfied that the adoption had been or would be approved. These children have been able to leave Haiti for their adoptive families overseas, and then only by a personal signature of the President of Haiti on each file. Governments of overseas countries, U.S. adoption agencies or the U.S. Military have flown the children to their new families and new countries;
2.Orphans identified as eligible for adoption, perhaps matched and waiting for an adoptive family, but where the paperwork had not proceeded past the preliminary stages; or
3.Orphans not matched with any adoptive parents or extended family members
The Minister of Immigration and the Government of Canada should be recognized for stepping up to the plate and brining many children to a safe place and new life. Adopting parents sometimes feel as if they are treated like second-class citizens. That did not happen here. Their interests and those of the children were of the highest government priority. Now that this group of children has left from Haiti, adoptions have mostly stopped. The question is what will happen next?

The sight of planeloads of children flying off to their various countries around the world has contributed to some backlash against international adoption. The New York Times has recently published an article "After Haiti quake, the Chaos of U.S. Adoptions" which is quite critical of the U.S.A. adoption process during the airlift.

When American Baptist missionaries were caught trying to take a busload of Haitian children into the Dominican Republic it added concerns about child trafficking. There are several valid reasons for suspending adoptions after an upheaval such as war or natural disaster. It may take some time for family members to become reunited. For example after the Tsunami in Malaysia in 2004 it is believed that no children were adopted internationally despite widespread desire to help from developed countries. For a discussion of the broader concerns about adopting from disaster-affected areas click here.

Now that new Haitian adoptions have been largely stopped, the country's infrastructure has been demolished, and the ongoing adoption files administered out of a tent, it provides a unique opportunity for everyone involved to assess the Haitian adoption process and decide what should happen next.

A. CURRENT SITUATION
As of August 2010 this is the current situation in Haiti adoptions. (This information will be updated as it evolves)

a) IBESR (The Haiti Social Services Department.) This organization is responsible for social services throughout the country. It currently has 50 employees, a few computers and is operating out of tents. The adoption files are still in the damaged headquarters building. Most of their work relates to pre-earthquake files.

b) Resumed Old Process IBESR has announced that it will review new dossiers submitted post-earthquake. (The U.S. Embassy however has not yet received a new post-quake application.) These adoptions are proceeding under the old 1974 adoption laws. This process had its problems including uncertainty about time frames and process. The process was different from many other countries in the world in that adopting parents were proposed children near the start of the process and then spent years waiting for the approval process in Haiti to unfold.

The usual length of time from dossier submission to completion of the process is two years, however some take from three to five years. Many parents visited the children on one or many occasions over the years. It is questionable whether this system was in the child's best interest, as any lengthy delay for a child to join a family puts the child at risk of bad things happening to him or her.

c) Suspension of New Haiti Adoptions

Several countries have suspended any new post-quake adoptions from Haiti. These include France, Belgium, Spain and the Netherlands. The USA does not intend to suspend adoptions from Haiti. Germany will permit new post-Hague adoption in limited and specific cases. They are allowed to start new adoptions if the parents of the child are known and agree to the adoption.

In Canada the situation is more complex. The Canadian Hague Central Authority (HDRC) is seeking information from Haiti to determine whether the adoption process meets acceptable standards to protect children. In the meantime it appears that individual provinces may take action on their own, based on information available to them. The Province of Quebec has suspended adoptions from Haiti. The Province of British Columbia has suspended new, post-quake adoptions. Other Canadian provinces may introduce their own temporary halt to Haitian adoptions in the near future.

d) Orphanages.

Before the quake, Haiti had 184 licensed children's homes and an unknown number of unlicensed ones. This number includes 67 crèches which are orphanages specifically licensed to complete adoptions. At this point very little aid has made its way to the orphanages and many are in desperate straits.

B. THE FUTURE
a) The Registries

There are over 3,000 NGO's working in Haiti. Several of them have decided to create registries to try and bring understanding and order to the chaotic children's welfare procedures. These include:

(i) The Registry for Institutionalized Children The goals of this registry are to record the children's existence, for child protection, for case management, for domestic adoption and the health and education of the children.

(ii)The Birth Registry System The OAS has been requested to create a system to record all new births in the country
(iii) Separated Children Registry This has been created by UNICEF to record children separated from their parents (but not their extended family) by the earthquake. So far 1575 children have been registered and 250 of them reunited with their family.

(iv) Registry of Orphanages No one really knows how many orphanages there are, where they are or what their situation is.

b) New Haitian Adoption Law

A new adoption law has been developed over many years. It was finally passed on May 7, 2010 by the Chamber of Deputies, however it was not passed by the Senate. When the government will finally pass a new adoption law is not clear, but presumably it is coming unless there is internal oppostion to it.

c) The Hague Adoption Convention

Almost all of the countries which adopt Haitian children, belong to The Hague Adoption Convention. If Haiti also joins the HAC, then most adoptions (perhaps all) would be required to follow the standardized Hague Convention process of adoption. The U.S. State Department may be influential in this decision. Since joining The Hague Adoption Convention, the U.S. has shown that it intends to make an impact on how adoptions are conducted worldwide. Since Haitian adoptions have largely stopped, expect several countries to offer Haiti advice on how to set up a Hague compliant adoption program. The result could be that no new adoptions will be permitted until Haiti joins the Hague Adoption Convention. (Although as stated above Haiti has announced that it is open to receiving new applications).

Conclusion
With international aid and the world's focus on assisting Haiti to become a more stable country, efforts will likely be made to improve social services and focus on domestic adoptions. As the old saying goes "Prediction is difficult especially when it involves the future". It is possible however that Haiti may not be able to commence post-quake adoptions. Several NGOs, which are against international adoption, would like this to be the result. More likely there will be increasing voices calling for Haiti to join the Hague Adoption Convention.

We can only hope that the participants around the world involved in Haitian adoptions truly think about what is best for these extremely vulnerable children.

Douglas Chalke
Executive Director
Sunrise Family Services
www.sunriseadoption.com
Vancouver, BC

July 1, 2010
Updated: August 24, 2010

The Sunrise Morocco Adoption Program

2011-05-31T10:10:00.000-07:00

The Sunrise Morocco program open to Muslim couples committed to raising their children in the Muslim faith.

Children
•Infants from one month of age and older are available for adoption by adoptive parents under 50 years of age.
•Toddlers and school age children are available for older parents, over 50 years of age
•The placement of a female child cannot be guaranteed, as there are many more boys available than girls. Adoptive parents are required to be open to a child of either gender.
Adopting Parents
•Adoptive parents must be under 50 years old to adopt an infant. Adopting parents over 50 years of age may adopt toddlers or older children.
•Single women under age 45 are eligible to adopt from Morocco.
•Couples should be married but there is no minimum length of marriage requirement.
•Same sex couples are not eligible to adopt.
Approximate Waiting Period
•Proposal information on a child in need of adoption is typically sent to you within six months after your dossier is complete. However time lines are estimates and cannot be guaranteed.
•One trip of about 40 days in duration is required to complete the process. Adopting parents attend court in Morocco to receive Guardianship. The adoption will be finalized in the province of the adopting parents place of residence, 6 months after their return to Canada.

Please note waiting times are estimates only and may change without notice
If you meet these qualifications and wish more information, please contact our Africa Program Manager.

Sunrise Adoption Head Office:

Suite 102 - 171 West Esplanade
North Vancouver, BC
Canada V7M 3J9

Telephone: 604-984-2488
Toll free within Canada 1-888-984-2488
Fax: 604-984-2498

Some Adoption Books

2011-05-30T09:35:00.001-07:00

Reviews of "Our Own" A Book On Adopting Older Children

2011-05-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Review by Cherie Clark

"Last weekend I had the chance to read Trish Maskew's new book, "Our Own." I am telling all of our agencies what at excellent resource this is for people who are adopting older children from any where. Those placements are so dear and so special but there is an element of risk that sometimes I believed was almost like the flip of a coin. "Would it work or not" I learned a great deal by reading this book and would have slept with it under my pillow when my 5 year old came home if I had it. There is a homework process to be done before the arrival and things can be easier."

"Amazing! I think this is a must for families adopting an older child. There is so much information that I was astounded that it had been assembled and put together in such a readable and informative format. I believe that there are joys to adopting older children (my oldest adopted was 5) but the challenge is great. For us the biggest issue was bonding. He knew his mother and he had a brother left somewhere in Viet Nam when his orphanage was bombed and evacuated. Therefore he incorporated himself into the family but did not want to become part of it. I wasn't his mother and the other kids were not his siblings. If I could have had something such as this book to hang on to it would surely have helped me through some painful and difficult times."

"I hope the word will be passed around to all of the agencies who have families adopting older children from anywhere about this wonderful brand new resource. What a gift."

Reviewed by Susan Hall

"This is a truly WONDERFUL book! It is the book I was looking for three years ago when we thought Tien belonged with us instead of half a world away in Vietnam. There was material out there on adopting older children - but not like this. Trish has put together a very positive but realistic picture of what it means to adopt an older child, either domestically or internationally. She begins with her own experiences as the adoptive mother of older children and moves forward."

"She has interviewed parents and captured all the pain and trauma, all the happiness and wonder, all the humor and craziness, that go with the process of adopting a child over the age of four. She has done her research among professionals and adoption literature to provide facts and information about all the diagnosies and problems which could occur, about all the feelings of loss and rejection children often feel, about how to deal with schools, therapists, and physicians to get the help your child needs. She has interviewed adult adoptees to provide information for adoptive parents from the perspective of the child. She had included pages upon pages of resources available on-line andin books and magazines."

"While this book does not "sugar-coat" any of the issues involved with an older child adoption it reaches very positive conclusions about the process & the children involved. For the most part the families interviewed for this book have lived months of confusion, exhaustion, and turmoil only to conclude these children that came into their lives much past infancy are truly "Our Own."

"It is very much a book by parents for parents. It is practical advice, useful information, and the real-life story of what it means to adopt and parent an older child. It should be required reading for anyone who is considering adopting an older child. It should also be on the shelf for any parent who has adopted an older child and has days when they need affirmation that all the feelings of exhaustion and exhilaration are "normal".

Reviewed by Allison Martin

Our Own - Adopting and Parenting the Older Child, by Trish Maskew, is a practical guide to adoption of older children, full of wisdom, good advice and insight. An essential resource for prospective parents considering the adoption of an older child; parents who have adopted older children will also find it affirming and helpful. Trish Maskew felt that adoptive parents needed a book about older child adoption from experienced parents; she has succeeded masterfully in meeting this objective. Our Own has received rave reviews from adoptive parents all over the world.

Our Own covers a wide breadth of topics related to the adoption of older children - questions raised in deciding to adopt, surviving the wait, adjusting to the adoption, emotional transitions, behavior, thinking about birthparents, culture, language, and medical and special needs. Readers will find the text carries them along through the diverse topics with clarity, substance and a sense of humor. True life examples from her own experience, along with quotes based on 20 interviews with other parents, bring an emotional depth and realism to this book that is often missing from other books on older child adoption. While Trish Maskew tackles serious subjects which may be disturbing at times, the bond and caring that Trish has for her children and for older child adoption transforms this book into something special.

While parents who are adopting a child with special needs may wish to supplement this book with specialized references, it is an excellant overall resource for everyone interested in adoption of older children. Add Our Own to your library and read it with consideration and enjoyment.

Adopting an International Child with Special Needs by Teri Bell

2011-05-30T09:22:00.000-07:00

There are many questions those of you who are considering the adoption of a child with special needs, would like answered. Over twenty years of working directly with over 1000 children with special needs and their families have helped me form the opinion that no absolutes exist when looking for adoption answers regarding this population of children. In the following pages, I have attempted to lay out for you, the potential adoptive parent(s), some issues to reflect upon and suggestions you may find useful.

REFERRAL INFORMATION

Adoptive families often wonder how much information they should expect in a referral of a child from overseas. As child care standards and medical care differs significantly from, country to country and often from program to program within the same country, each program has its own limitations as to the information they provide. Therefore, it is impossible to say what should constitute a realistic expectation. You should assess the standard referral information provided by the program you are considering and if you are comfortable with it, this program may be a good option for you. At this point, I suggest that you talk to other families who have adopted through this program. If you feel that certain information must be included in your referral for you to proceed with a placement, it will be necessary for you to ask your US agency if your chosen program includes that information.

I suggest that you consider the following when choosing a program:

-What kind of medical information does your agency expect to receive from the international program you are interested in (e.g. birth history, medical concerns, medical treatment medical/developmental test results)?

-Does the overseas agency have the ability to obtain more information if you or your medical doctor requests it?

-Is the US agency receptive to asking questions of their representative on your behalf?

-Who does the agency representative, or the international agency, consult with overseas regarding the special needs children, and what are their qualifications?

-What experience does the person identifying the children have in special needs adoption?

COMMUNITY INFORMATION

The first thing you will probably think of doing, is taking your referral to a doctor that you trust. I have found however, that families can be frustrated and overwhelmed by their initial contacts with the medical community even when they consult with someone they trust. It is often difficult for families to know what questions to ask once they meet with their doctor. Those who have the most success in this area are adopters who have prepared ahead of time and have done their homework regarding the information they have received on the child's referral. If the child who has been referred, has a specific handicapping condition, I suggest that you visit your local library and/or contact the appropriate organization, to inform yourself about that condition. The information you accumulate within the first few days of doing this "homework" may be startling. Remember, that there are varying degrees of severity that appear for different diagnoses. What is encompassed under one label can range from mild to severe and, before panic sets in, a clear picture of where the child you are considering fits in that continuum is important. This time spent information gathering, will better prepare you to discuss the child's prognosis with your doctor as she/he explains how the diagnosis affects this particular child.

Involvement with parent groups that meet to discuss the concerns of children similar to the child whose referral you are holding, is very important. This will help you immensely in putting the medical information into perspective by learning about the day-to-day lives of these children. Parents both by birth and by adoption offer their support in a non-threatening environment. Through these conversations, you will be receiving a great deal of new information and it is an emotional time. Please reflect upon what you have heard and learned before you make any final decisions.

MEDICAL RESOURCES

There are many questions that the doctor may want to ask you, and there are many questions you will wish to ask the doctor. Before you get to these however, I feel that it is imperative that from the outset you make it clear to your doctor that you have already made the decision to proceed with an international adoption, that you have already made the decision to accept the referral of a special needs child, and that what you want from this doctor is the information and guidance she/he would give to any family who entered the office with their birth child, asking the same types of questions. Explain to the doctor that you understand that she/he is not making the decision for you; she/he is only helping you to become informed. Explain that you are not asking whether or not you should proceed with that child. REMEMBER: The decision you made to proceed or not to proceed with a child referral is a decision only YOU can make!

Many people are angry or frustrated when the doctor they consult does not give them definitive answers. Please understand, that the medical doctor who is giving information on a child from another country is put into a precarious position. First of all, the doctor you are consulting obviously has not made the original diagnosis, and is being asked to give opinions on someone else's expertise. This doctor does not usually know specifically how this child was diagnosed, what tests were given to reach the diagnosis, what equipment was used for these tests, whether the x-rays, EKG's, echoes, sonograms, or EEG's were interpreted accurately, whether the blood chemistry was examined accurately, and whether there are genetic or chromosomal factors which may play a part in this child's diagnosis. Certainly, this all explains that there are hazards to interpretations of test results or readings by another doctor. As a result your consulting doctor is likely to qualify her/his statements regarding this child and the child's present and future situation.

SECOND OPINION?

The question of seeking a second opinion is often raised by families who are adopting children with special needs. It is my opinion that, if you are considering adding a child with a medical concern, you should check with more than one physician. Medicine is not an exact science and there are usually many different opinions on any one issue, especially when that issue is seen infrequently in the United States. I suggest that you ask the physician you are consulting, if they have had professional experience with children from other countries or cultures.

You may find that as you talk to a variety of medical people, you will come to realize that diverse philosophies and treatments for the same condition in the same community can exist. Before making your final decision, it is important for you to take all of the information you have received from the specialists and decide how much, if any, of this information contains adoption bias by the doctor who was answering your questions. Remember that physicians can hold the same prejudices against foreign and special needs children that others in the community hold. International adoption is NOT without controversy.

REQUESTS FOR ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Frequently, the medical personnel consulted request further information regarding the child's medical condition. In some programs, this would just not be possible and in those instances you will need to make a final decision with the information you already have. Often, the tests or information which have been requested are either not within the capabilities of the medical or social work staff of the country where the child is presently living, or test facilities and/or equipment are unavailable You will need to ask the advice of your agency as to whether the information requested is appropriate and realistic for your particular program. It is your right to request any and all information you feel you may need in order to make a decision regarding a particular referral. It is the agency's responsibility to be knowledgeable regarding the international agency's attitudes towards requests for more medical information. You and your agency must be aware of the sensitivities of the country from which the referral was sent, and how this request will be received.

Even if you cannot handle, and are not ready to accept, the medical concerns of the child being referred, this child may be perfect for another family. This is not to say that the request for additional information is inappropriate. In many cases, this information is not only appropriate, but is often appreciated by the overseas agency who will have an opportunity to learn more about this child and other children with similar medical concerns. At the same time, indecision might hold up or take away an opportunity for the child's placement or referral to another family, so when you make that request, do so, with serious intent on proceeding.

DECISION-MAKING

Can you truthfully say that you have looked at all your concerns objectively? You may still be concerned about some issues, but do you feel deep down that this is the right decision? This is the time to question your choice. If the unanswered questions at this point are extremely disturbing, this may not be the right child for you. It is wonderful to believe that the child who has not thrived in his or her homeland will respond to your love and attention. This has proved to be true in many cases, but not all of them. Realistic expectations are a must, because unfortunately, love does not conquer all!

A failure-to-thrive or institutionalized child, a developmentally delayed child, or a child with a parental history of substance abuse, may not respond, catch up and accomplish the dreams you have envisioned. That child may always remain delayed or unstable. So many people can spend long hours, days or months working with a child when they feel the outcome will be a positive one. Can you still feel that child is a part of you, if the outcome is not as positive as you had hoped?

A wonderful aid in decision-making is to spend some time with children who have similar physical challenges to the child you have on referral. Visit the child at their home or school, if possible. If you see no problem accepting what you observe at this point, project some of your fantasies to the teen years, or visit with a teen and their parents. Are you still comfortable? All of us have images of ourselves that we hope are true. We look at children and families that have "made it" and we say we can do that too. We want to see ourselves as strong enough and capable enough to endure whatever challenges life presents. Be sure that you are being realistic regarding your strengths and weaknesses.

You must feel comfortable proceeding with your adoption plans. It is imperative that you remember that adoption, like birth, is a lifetime commitment

SUMMARY

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I have worked with over 1000 children with special needs and their adoptive families during my career. I have occasionally seen families experience heartache, disruption and divorce. Some of these families feel that the major stress in their lives began with the addition of their child with special needs. The majority of families however, feel that the addition of their child with special needs was one of the greatest experiences of their lives. Much of what I have written here may appear to be disheartening and pessimistic. I truly don't mean it to be that. The point I am trying to get across, more than any other, is that adding a child with special needs to your family requires realistic and objective decision-making.

There is no parenting that is easy and without problems. The addition of a child with special needs can enhance the difficulties and the problems faced in parenting, but done correctly, it can also be a joyous experience. An informed decision can make the difficult times easier to manage and be the most rewarding and fulfilling decision in the lives of both you and your new child.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Teri Bell is presently the Special Needs Coordinator for Americans for International Aid and Adoption in Michigan. She is a licensed social worker who holds a masters degree in Early Childhood Special Education and has worked internationally for the adoption of special needs children for over twenty years.
© Roots & Wings Adoption Magazine

Credits: Teri Bell

Would You Welcome an Orphan into Your Family?

2011-05-26T04:46:00.001-07:00

And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

Matthew 18:5

A Lesson From the Past

2011-05-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

October 29, 2010
With over 30,000 children waiting for adoption in Canada, it’s time to get the story of their need for loving parents into wider circulation. Most of these children are over the age of four and have sensitive needs, 25% of them are aboriginal, 100 % of them need a permanent family.

An Ipsos Reid Survey of 2004 showed 90% of Canadians feel favorably about adoption, and 14% of Canadians have seriously considered adoption. How can it be that we are a nation which surveys as over 500,000 having seriously considered adopting, yet we cannot find homes for 30,000 kids awaiting adoption?

It wasn’t so bleak in the days of my adoption. To be sure, I’m adopted because my parents obeyed a deep compassion nudge they received from the Holy Spirit and they would be the first to tell you it was challenging.

It was 1961, the media climate wasn’t part of their decision, but it had carried a government sponsored advertising campaign for 9,700 children who were “Nobody’s orphans, who, because of age, physical and mental handicaps had been left in the care of Ontario’s welfare Department.” In the Toronto Telegram, Helen Allen’s Today’s Child column published with missionary like zeal. Her colour photos of the adoptable children even made the front page of the newspaper, with heart wrenching story telling. Like the account of three brothers, wanting to be placed together and who were “great sportsmen and boasted perfect Sunday School attendance.” By 1966 Helen Allan assessed the column had found homes for 6,000 children.

It’s time the media plays its role today in taking Canada’s shameful secret of 30,000 children needing a permanent home out into the light.

Lorna Dueck is the Executive Producer and Host of Listen Up TV

Haiti Adoptions

2011-05-24T09:08:00.001-07:00

Haiti Joins HagueHaiti joined the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption on March 2, 2011 as predicted in our Spotlight Article. This probably means that no new adoptions will be permitted to British Columbia until Haiti puts an adoption process and administration in place, which is compliant with the Convention. Unfortunately for the children of Haiti that may take a considerable period of time.

Sunrise Adoption Head Office:

Suite 102 - 171 West Esplanade
North Vancouver, BC
Canada V7M 3J9

Telephone: 604-984-2488
Toll free within Canada 1-888-984-2488
Fax: 604-984-2498

Mother's Day Walk to Nicolle Flats

2011-05-24T05:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.tpcs.gov.sk.ca/BuffaloPoundNicolleHomestead

What Should We Do With Our Disappointments?

2011-05-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

"When we walk in obedience (to God)
and fix our minds on (His) truth,
our disappointments will eventually
produce passions that will result in
actions that are honorable and holy.
That's when we soar on wings like
eagles!" Carol Kent

Adoption in Canada

2011-05-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

March for Life 2011

2011-05-23T14:34:00.000-07:00

Skipping and Cupcakes

2011-05-10T11:20:00.000-07:00

David is in training for the Heart and Stroke Skip a thon!

A rainbow cupcake created by our talented daughter Krista!

God Sets The Lonely in Families

2011-05-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

If Psalm 68 tells us that "God sets the lonely in families", why are their millions of orphans?
Could it be that millions of Christians, God's hands and feet, are not doing what God has asked them to do?
This must break God's heart...

Rabbit's Garden and Easter Continued

2011-05-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

Aiden and Jennifer have been busy cleaning out the garden area in our little yard. Aiden calls it Rabbit's Garden and is set on planting cucumbers, tomatoes and carrots. I have my eye on the new deck John is building for my garden area. I need to get out pot shopping soon and then let the gardening begin!

Hockey anyone?

Brent and David were having some fun with a big chocolate cookie!

Aiden-silly faces and laughter!

Three of our family members were not well last weekend so we had a turkey dinner yesterday to celebrate Easter with all of us!

Do We Keep Kids With Disabilities from Participating?

2011-04-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.crcna.org/pages/disability_cadets.cfm

Decorating Easter Eggs and Jennifer's 12th Birthday Party!

2011-04-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

Easter, Jennifer's Birthday, John's Birthday!

2011-04-25T07:48:00.001-07:00

Waiting to Belong | Video: Bruce Clemenger on Adoption | Explore Adoption/Adoption Basics

2011-04-21T15:42:00.000-07:00

Waiting to Belong | Video: Bruce Clemenger on Adoption | Explore Adoption/Adoption Basics

Living Out A Miracle

2011-04-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

Living out a miracle
Rob and Leah’s story

BY Julie Vaughan | March 15, 2011
“. . . living out a miracle is way better than living out a dream.”Submitted by joshduvauchelle on March 15, 2011 - 3:23pm
Adoptive Families
When Rob and Leah Madden* were first posted with the Canadian Forces to the North American Aerospace Defense Command headquarters in Colorado Springs, Colorado, they were in for more than just a new address. Their family was about to embark on a life-changing adventure through adoption.

The Maddens’ adoption story began in the months leading up to a Wait No More adoption conference through Focus on the Family U.S. They had looked into becoming foster parents years earlier, but the timing just didn’t seem right. However, when the Maddens moved to Colorado, one of the first couples they met was adopting a sibling group from foster care. “My interest was piqued right away,” says Leah.

After much prayer, investigating and various nudges from the Lord, the Maddens attended the Wait No More conference. “At that event,” says Leah, “we knew [adoption] was the step we were called to take.” Rob shares, “We felt our hearts pouring out God’s love for ‘fatherless children,’ children who were legally free and looking for a forever family to love them no matter what.”

At the time, the Maddens already had four biological children, ages 18, 17, 15 and 12. Leah says, “Common sense and logic certainly weren’t advocating for us to adopt more children. But after listening to all the information, I remember sitting in our seats as people were leaving and really feeling this sense of calm and peace. I knew that this was what we were to be doing with our lives.”

Following the event, there were a number of information booths set up for families to gather additional materials and to talk with representatives from various adoption agencies. Rob says, “We were immediately drawn to an agency whose name was Maple Star, and whose logo was half maple leaf, half stars and stripes. Being Canadians in the U.S., this was too obvious for us.”

In the following weeks, the Maddens completed the necessary paperwork, then received their initial training alongside other prospective adoptive parents. Next, their background checks for both Canada and the U.S. were completed and they began their home study. “For us, the miracle from God came next,” says Rob.

Just before the Maddens’ final home study visit, Leah received a call at work from their adoption agency. Though the Maddens weren’t supposed to be fully licensed for another two to three weeks, the agency had an emergency placement of four young boys. “Leah called me at work and told me the situation,” says Rob. “Other than tears welling up, a sense of calm came over me and I told her, ‘We cannot say no.’ ”

Though the Maddens knew very little about the four young brothers, they were confident that these boys were meant to be a part of their family. Rob says, “We said yes to the unknown with complete faith in knowing that the children we were being matched with were the children God planned for us to have.”

The next night, the Maddens’ home study was completed and they were licensed around midnight that night. “Less than 24 hours later,” says Rob, “these four precious young boys – ages three, four, six and seven – walked into our home like they were coming home from another day at school.”

Even now, the Maddens are in awe over the divinely orchestrated timing of the whole process. Recognizing that for many – if not most – adoptive families, adoption can be a lengthy process, the Maddens feel deep gratitude for how swiftly God brought their family together. Leah shares, “Over and over again, we were told that this doesn't happen this quickly. We kept saying, ‘Don't say never, because this is God's plan, not ours.’ God was in control of the entire situation, and we felt [Him] more than we had ever felt His presence before.”

The Maddens waited the mandatory six-month observation period, then made it official. “We adopted our boys six months and six days later,” says Rob. “On the Friday before Orphan Sunday, our boys were dedicated at our church, not as orphans but as boys with a forever family.”

Suddenly becoming parents to eight children wasn’t a simple lifestyle change for Rob and Leah, but they feel incredibly blessed by the adoption of their four boys. Rob says, “What seems like a normal pace for us is seen as total chaos and unachievable by others. Do Leah and I get to do many of the things we have dreamed of doing? Not always, but living out a miracle is way better than living out a dream. I am blessed to the end of my days to be the father of my eight children.”

Leah, too, agrees that life with such a full house has its challenges, but there are many blessings as well. “I feel blessed by just listening to the call of God and completely relying on His grace to get us through it all. Honestly, I have my moments, but those moments are what I treasure the most. I feel like I am growing with them, I am blessed with them, I am feeling everything right along with them. It is part of the process of becoming their mom. I also have seen our biological children in ways I never thought possible. The way they have embraced our boys and adjusted to a new family has been nothing short of amazing to me.”

When asked about some of the realities of adopting children from foster care, the Maddens point out that you oftentimes don’t fully know what your children have gone through before being placed in your home. Rob says, “All foster children come with ‘stuff.’ When you are matched with your children, you need to understand as much as you possibly can about their situation, and this might not be much.” Leah makes the important point, “You can't control the past, but you can make a difference for their future. What has happened to them doesn't have to reflect who they will become.”

To couples considering adoption, the Maddens stress the importance of looking to God for direction. Leah says, “Waiting for a perfect child, or a perfect time, or a perfect scenario just won’t happen, but if you rely on God’s timing and what God’s plan is for you, it can't be wrong.”

The Madden family has now returned to Canada, where they continue advocating for adoption. “Adoption is a journey – not for the perfect, but for the willing,” says their 17 year old. “God will guide you and sustain you through all the trials and all the joys. Open your heart to the possibility of changing lives.”

*Names have been changed for privacy purposes.

Julie Vaughan is the editorial director at Focus on the Family Canada.

© 2011 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.

Called to adopt, later in life

2011-04-15T15:53:00.000-07:00

Called to adopt, later in life
Alan and Anne’s story

BY Julie Vaughan | March 15, 2011

“With each of our adoptions, we experienced a different prompting from God . . .”Submitted by joshduvauchelle on March 15, 2011 - 3:43pm
Adoptive Families
Alan and Anne Chin started out in life like many other couples. They got married, began a new life together and gave birth to four beautiful children. Life was filled with the expected busyness of a thriving family of six, but something kept tugging at their hearts – adoption.

Anne, in particular, had always been interested in adoption, and before she and Alan were married, they had agreed that it was something they both had a heart for. But for many years, the doors for adoption just didn’t seem to be opening. Before they knew it, Alan was 64, Anne was 50 and their children were growing up. But it was exactly at this point that God began to clearly lead them to adoption.

“I was doing a Bible study, reading John Ortberg’s book If You Want to Walk on Water, You’ve Got to Get Out of the Boat,” says Anne. “We’d sort of been expecting God to ‘bring a child to our front door,’ but that theme – get out of the boat, walk on water – spoke to us. We knew we had the energy and love to take on another child. So we just took that first step of faith and made that phone call.”

After contacting BC’s Ministry of Children and Family Development, the Chins began the process of exploring whether adoption was a good fit for their family – and whether they were a good fit for a waiting child.

The Chins also received some free training through several group sessions. In these groups, they were taught about the kinds of children waiting to be adopted, as well as many of the potential challenges adoptive families face. Anne says, “Some information is intimidating, even scary, but then you’re discerning what you could and couldn’t do – ‘I know I’m not wired for . . .’ ” Through these sessions, the Chins learned that there are many effective resources out there to help adoptive families – including post-adoption assistance, counselling, tutoring and many other sources of support.

About a year after making that initial phone call to start the adoption process, the Chins brought home their first adopted child, a girl of nine years old. But this wasn’t the end of their adoption story. In a matter of five years, the Chins would adopt a total of four children, two of whom were siblings.

“With each of our adoptions, we experienced a different prompting from God,” shares Anne. With their first child, it was the theme of listening carefully and taking that first step of faith to “get out of the boat.”

With their second and third adoptions (siblings), Alan and Anne clearly felt the Lord impressing upon their hearts Jesus’ words in John 21:17, “Do you love Me? . . . Feed My sheep.” Fittingly, when the siblings were first introduced to the Chins, one of the little girls handed Anne a gift she had made herself – a little sheep. Though it was a small, unknowing gesture, it was further confirmation that God was again opening the doors of adoption to their family.

Shortly thereafter, the Chins completed a fourth adoption – another girl, nine years of age – after sensing the Lord speaking to them through John 21:6, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” Anne explains, “It was as if God was saying, If you’re wondering, just cast your net out.”

For the Chins, the process of adopting wasn’t necessarily easy, but they had a very good experience with the Ministry of Children and Family Development. Through the ministry, they were able to learn about the needs of children in their own community. In fact, each of their adopted children had been living within a 10-mile radius of their own home. “We have been astounded at the crying needs right here,” says Anne. “A lot of people don’t realize how many children are right here on our doorstep. Many of these kids are praying for families; they’re incredibly alone in the world, and they’re right here. We think of children overseas, but many deeply wounded children are right here.”

The Chins are upfront about the real-life challenges of parenting adoptive kids. “Many of these kids have had traumatic lives, so it’s a mission with a cost. It takes time. But healing happens,” says Anne. Alluding to James 1:27, she makes the point: “Adoption is not always an easy road, but the Bible doesn’t say you have to heal widows and orphans – just care for them.”

Ultimately, Alan and Anne feel that their family has been deeply blessed through adoption. “These children have brought incredible joy and life into our lives, and we have become a stronger and richer family with them being part of our family. All of us have learned a lot about unconditional love, bonding and attaching to others, as well as the true meaning of family and what it means to be adopted into God's family.”

To families beginning to consider adoption, the Chins suggest taking baby steps. “If there are families out there who feel this might be their call, or maybe this is their call, or you have room for a child – call. You have nothing to lose, there’s no commitment in just calling,” says Anne. The Chins suggest that families initially not try to figure out whether they can adopt – just take those initial small steps, then wait on the Lord’s leading.

The Chins also stress the importance of adoptive parents gaining as much information and training as possible, to equip themselves and to learn about the many supports available throughout their journey. They suggest taking courses, checking out adoption support websites, reading up on related issues and forming relationships with other adoptive families.

It’s no surprise that Alan and Anne are passionate advocates of adoption, especially when it comes to the Church. “If every church had one family who would adopt a child,” says Anne, “then the numbers of waiting children in our country would go dramatically down. . . . It is a good process here, and these are the children right on our doorstep. In fact, there are many children who are really wanting Christian families, and they really do pray night after night for a family. These are the forgotten children in our culture.”

Julie Vaughan is the editorial director at Focus on the Family Canada.

© 2011 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.

Thirteen children and still counting!

2011-04-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

Thirteen children and still counting!
Joy and Dan’s story

BY Joy Loney, as told to Catherine Wilson | March 10, 2011

“. . . God will take ordinary people and make their lives extraordinary, if they are submitted to His will.”Submitted by admin on March 8, 2011 - 5:15pm
Adoptive Families
In the fall of 2000, an unexpected phone call set our family on an amazing journey – a journey that would eventually lead my husband, Dan, and me to open our home, and our hearts, to over 10 children through adoption and fostering. As I hurried to answer the phone that day, I could never have imagined what God had in store for us.

Our home was already more than full. The oldest of our five biological children was married and living with her husband, but our four teen boys still lived at home with us. And a year earlier we had become foster parents to two little girls in great need of love. We were a family of eight living in a four-bedroom home in the greater Vancouver area.

The phone call was from a child placement worker. She said, “We have a baby girl. Would you be interested?”

I was more than interested; I was ecstatic! I hung up the phone and began screaming, “We have another girl!”

Julia’s* story was a very sad one. She had been injured by alcohol and violence while still in the womb, but none of this affected our love and acceptance of this precious child. Deep down, however, I was struggling with a different issue . . . a relentless, gnawing fear. As her foster parents, Julia wasn’t “ours.” My life was overshadowed by the possibility that Julia might be ripped from us by another fateful phone call.

One night as we were preparing Julia for bed, Dan asked me, “Joy, do you love her?” My tears betrayed the anguish I felt.

“You need to let go of your fear,” Dan said gently, “and allow yourself to love her completely.” That moment, with tears running freely, we let God have full control of our lives.

A short while later, we learned that Julia’s birth parents had decided to place her for adoption. God had not only opened a way for us to keep Julia, He was also opening our home to more children. In the process of applying to adopt Julia, we discovered that Julia had a two-year-old brother and a four-year-old sister in foster care. Instead of adopting just one child, we adopted all three.

One day, when I was out grocery shopping with Julia, I happened to meet Julia’s birth mother. In the course of our conversation, I discovered that Julia’s mother was pregnant again and was planning an abortion.

Instantly, my heart was broken. I said to her, “Please look at your baby sleeping in my car. I thank God every day for this beautiful child. Will you please stop and consider what you are going to do to the child growing inside you?” She cancelled her appointment at the abortion clinic, and later gave birth to Joseph. Joseph is now nine, and our fourth dearly-loved adopted child.

What have we learned through our adoption journey? We’ve learned that God will take ordinary people and make their lives extraordinary, if they are submitted to His will. He will work through you to do things you never thought possible. I was once a very timid, shy person. But that changed when Julia was still an infant. Many times now I’ve stepped in to advocate for children in a foster care system that is well-intentioned, but also overwhelmed. Once, I was afraid of my own shadow, but my husband Dan now jokes that he’s afraid of my shadow!

We’ve seen God wonderfully transform the children in our care, too. Five years ago, we took three brothers into our home for emergency foster care. For the first few weeks, their behaviour was so unbelievably disruptive, I wondered if continuing to care for them would be unfair to our other children. Then one night, as I sang all three to sleep, the youngest said, “Sing Jesus!” And I did. Sharing the precious love of Jesus through song was the beginning of their healing. As they experienced the peace of Jesus, these boys were able to let go of their anger. Today they are loving, compassionate kids, and I’m proud to go anywhere with them.

Dan and I know that God has called our family to serve Him through adoption and fostering. This is not the right path for everyone, but I urge you to consider whether it’s something He might be calling you to as well. Right now, 30,000 Canadian children lack secure, loving homes. Many face a very difficult life – one that will wound them deeply. And their wounds will have far-reaching impacts on society as a whole. We need many homes, many hands, many hearts to love Canada’s waiting kids.

*Some names have been changed by request

Joy Loney and her husband, Dan, live in the Vancouver area. They are parents to five biological children, four adopted children and four foster children, and also provide short-term care for additional children as needed. Dan serves on the board of directors for Focus on the Family Canada. In March 2010 the Loneys appeared before a parliamentary standing committee (HUMA) to present their views on federal support measures to adoptive parents.

© 2011 Focus on the Family (Canada) Association. All rights reserved.

What Can I Do To Help?

2011-04-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

Tom Davis in Red Letters, offers some suggestions on how we can help with world crises.

Pray Daily
5 for 50
~give 5 minutes a day to pray for those suffering from HIV/AIDS

~give 5 hours a week to fast for those suffering from HIV/AIDS
~give 5 dollars a month to the Five for 50 Fund to support worthy causes
~give 5 days a year to travel overseas to help alleviate poverty and suffering
~give 5 people an opportunity to join you on your journey

http://www.hopechest.org/5for50/

(I would suggest using these 5 steps for the cause closest to your heart.)

Start a Blog to inspire and educate people
Tell Everyone You Know about the cause you are passionate about
Join An Existing Group and Invite Your Friends
~consider joining www.one.org or www.worldvision.org
Raise Money With a Charity Badge on your blog
Go On a Missions Trip
Make a Gift
Connect With Compassion International
Change Your Shopping Habits
~RED campaign www.joinred.org
~EDUN www.edun.ie
~Land of a Thousand Hills Coffee www.landofathousandhillscoffee.com
~Fair Trade www.groundsforchange.org www.puravida.com
~ADOPT A CHILD (my personal favourite!)

Disturbing Stats

2011-04-08T13:06:00.000-07:00

Approximately
~2.2 million children live with HIV
~28 million children die from incurable diseases each year
~17 million children die from malnutrition and starvation each year
~33 percent of the world's population is malnourished
~20 percent of the world's population has no access to safe water
~10 million children are involved in the sex industry
~100 million children live on the streets
~200 million children are child laborers

We are the "rich young man" that Jesus talks about in Mark 10. Will we share our riches or walk away?

"If we live for something bigger than ourselves,
we'll never be cheated.
We'll never lose out;
we will always be given
more than our wildest dreams." Tom Davis in Red Letters

Do We Suffer From Apathy and Laziness?

2011-04-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

Eleanor Roosevelt "So much attention is paid to the aggressive sins, such as violence and cruelty and greed with all their tragic effects, that too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating effect."

"Where would Jesus be today? What poorest-of-the-poor people would he walk among, offering his healing touch and life-giving hope? That's where I want to be."

"There's nothing more important on God's agenda than caring for the sick and the hurting, the poor and the orphan. There's nothing more rewarding than giving our lives to those who need the most help."

Matthew 25:41-45
"Then he will turn to the 'goats,' the ones on his left,
and say, "Get out, worthless goats! You're good for nothing but the fires of hell.
And why? Because-
I was hungry and you gave me no meal,
I was thirsty and you gave me no drink,
I was homeless and you gave me no bed,
I was shivering and you gave me no clothes,
Sick and in prison, and you never visited."

Then those "goats" are going to say, "Master what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn't help?"

He will answer them, "I'm telling the solemn truth:
Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone
who was being overlooked or ignored,
that was me-you failed to do it to me."

"Those who ignore the needs of the hungry,
the prisoner, and the orphan will have to
account for their behavior one day.
Apparently, God is not going to think very well
of them."

"God says, "I will not abandon you."
Put yourself into the figurative shoes of a five-year-old girl somewhere in the middle of Africa. Your father has died of AIDS and,
after you've watched your mother cough up blood and shrivel to nothing for the last month and a half, she, too, is gone.
How do you make sense of this passage? How could you not feel abandoned?
What do you set your hopes in? You set your hopes in people.
People who might show up and offer a refuge, a safe place, a home.
People who are living the embodiment of Christ himself.
People like you and me.
People who can show, with the actions of their heart,
that God has not abandoned you at all."
Quotes from Red Letters by Tom Davis

Mother Teresa "When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.
We have refused to be instruments of love in the hands of God to give the poor a piece of bread,
to offer them a dress with which to ward off the cold.
It has happened because we did not recognize Christ when, once more, he appeared under the guise of pain, identified with a man numb from the cold,
dying of hunger,
when he came in a lonely human being,
in a lost child in search of a home."

Let's Talk About Poverty

2011-04-08T11:00:00.001-07:00

"1.2 billion people are estimated to live on less than one dollar per day
almost 3 billion on less than two dollars per day

With all of our wealth
all of our technology
and all of our resources
why haven't we solved this problem?"

When we adopted Aiden, the orphanage director shared with us how little money they have to feed the children in the orphanage and this little money was getting cut by 1/3. The orphanage staff make very little money. So just because these children and adults were born in Bulgaria at this time in history they have to live in dire poverty.

Just because we were born in Canada at this time in history we have great riches in comparison. Why do we not take our excess and share it with our fellow humans in Bulgaria just as we would hope they would do for us if the shoe was on the other foot.

"Almost 2.5 million children die every year because of malaria.
Hello? We have medicine that kills malaria.
It's cheap.
It's easy to transport.
Yet, we aren't doing what it takes to get the medicine to the people who need it.
Here's a surprising and disturbing truth about poverty
that really ticks me off:
It's preventable."

"We spend most of our time trying to protect what we have,
fearing what would happen if that went away.
We can't reach far enough to offer compassion because our arms are too busy holding all that we own."

In Canada most of us have houses that are bigger than we need and they are filled to overflowing with too many possessions. We need to buy bins, totes, organizers to store our excess. Then when that isn't enough we build sheds, garages, barns to store our excess. Some even rent storage units to house their excess.

Please, please change your plans for your next holiday and go to a third world country and experience poverty. Ask God to give you His eyes for the poor.

I saw an interview recently with a family from Chicago who have 7 birth children and have adopted 6 children. When they traveled to bring home their children from an orphanage in Africa they saw children praying. They thought maybe they were praying for food and clean water but when they enquired, the staff told them they were praying for a Dad and Mom to come and rescue them!

Do you NEED a new vehicle? For the cost of a new vehicle, you could adopt a child who is living in extreme poverty. These children NEED you!

"Not only do we glorify God in an incredible way when we give compassionately,
but we inspire others to do the same."

Since we adopted Aiden, our friends have walked through the adoption process and next month hope to travel to Bulgaria to bring home their beautiful little girl with Down Syndrome! Out of our example of compassion they were inspired. Nothing can feel better!

"Jesus didn't have a "never enough" mentality. He lived and breathed a "what can I offer?" mentality. It didn't matter where he was or what he was doing. He always took the time to help someone in need. It didn't matter if it was a prostitute, a tax collector, or someone who was demon possessed. Jesus always stopped what he was doing to help. As his people we are called to go and do the same."

"When through a little effort or a lot of effort,
I help save the lives of people who are less fortunate,
I begin to see the world as God does.
I begin to live out Jesus' Red Letter command to love my neighbour as I love myself."

quotes from Red Letters by Tom Davis

Red Letters

2011-04-08T10:39:00.000-07:00

by Tom Davis

Matthew 25:40 "Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me-you did it to me."

Jesus is the orphan. Jesus is the prisoner. Jesus is the person with a disabiliy. Jesus is the beggar. Jesus is the widow. He doesn't say in this verse that he is happy when we help one of his children. He says that when we help someone in need, we help Him. Wow!

"Living out the gospel is hard work.
It's easy to talk about it.
Any of us can sit in church and sing warm, happy worship songs that make us feel good.
We can nod agreeably with the pastor's wisdom.
And sometimes we can even drop a few extra dollars into the offering basket.
But it's not so easy to actually go and do what Jesus said to do."

Many Bibles have Jesus' words written in red letters. In Tom Davis' book "Red Letters" he challenges the reader to consider living life doing what Jesus tells us to do.

"What if all Christ-followers lived the Red Letter words in the Bible-Jesus' words?
What if we offered the hungry something to eat, gave one of our many coats to someone who was cold, truly loved our neighbors as ourselves?"

"Look for Jesus every morning in the eyes of the people you meet. And then look for him in the mirror."

Quote from Sir Winston Churchill

2011-04-07T05:21:00.000-07:00

"We make a living by what we get,
but we make a life by what we give."

Another Great Read!

2011-03-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

King’s Cross is Timothy Keller’s revelatory look at the life of Christ as told in the Gospel of Mark. In it, Keller shows how the story of Jesus is at once cosmic, historical, and personal, calling each of us to look anew at our relationship with God. Like Keller’s other books, it speaks to skeptics and is ideal for the faithful, those who are looking for a closer connection to Jesus and a saving faith.

Are You a Single Woman Wanting to Adopt??

2011-03-23T15:07:00.000-07:00

The China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) has announced that single women may once again adopt in China beginning today, March 15, 2011.

Single adoptions, which once comprised over a quarter of all intercountry adoptions in China, will now be used to find families for Chinese children with special needs.

The new singles program is specific to finding families for children designated as Special Focus. This designation usually indicates the child has a special need, is pre-school or school age and has been on the shared waiting list for more than 60-days. It can also indicate a non-special needs child of school age who has been on the shared waiting list for more than 60-days.

Contact Sunrise Adoption

Sunrise Adoption Head Office:

Suite 102 - 171 West Esplanade
North Vancouver, BC
Canada V7M 3J9

Telephone: 604-984-2488
Toll free within Canada 1-888-984-2488
Fax: 604-984-2498
To e-mail us, use the form below.

Ethiopian Adoptions

2011-03-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

The Ethiopian Ministry of Women, Children, and Youth Affairs has just announced it would reduce the number of intercountry adoption cases processed, from 50 per work day down to five a day, starting Mar. 10, 2011. It would focus resources on other priorities for vulnerable children.

In 2009 4,506 Ethiopian children left their country for adoptive homes abroad. If implemented as proposed, the reduction of 90% would dramatically reduce the number of adoptions from Ethiopia (and greatly slow processing existing cases).

The U.S. Department of State calculated that "if only five cases are reviewed per day, delays could be significant. Calculations based on rough estimates of cases in process (around 1,000) indicate delays of one year or more."

The Ethiopian government's plan to slash the adoption visa approval rate brought immediate reaction from the adoption community.

In a Mar. 7, 2011 statement, the Joint Council on International Children's Services (JCICS) advocated for continuing intercountry adoption in Ethiopia and maintaining "the overwhelmingly positive, ethical and legal services provided to children and families through intercountry adoption." It said, "The Ministry's plan is a tragic, unnecessary and disproportionate reaction to concerns of isolated abuses in the adoption process."

On Mar. 13, 2011 JCICS board member (and CEO, Worldwide Orphans Foundation) Dr. Jane Aronson sent an open letter (pdf) to former president Bill Clinton, urging diplomatic efforts to reverse the decision to reduce international adoption in Ethiopia. "There are children and adoptive families trapped in the last steps of the adoption process," she wrote, "We need some diplomacy to pry open the lid for a moment." If the decision is carried out, "the numbers of children adopted from Ethiopia will decrease, the time it takes to adopt will increase, and international adoption in general, and the children in particular, are the losers."

The slowdown in Ethiopia would only exacerbate the general decline in intercountry adoption. It's a decline which looks set to continue in 2011 and onward, Dr. Peter Selman of Britain's Newcastle University told Family Helper.

Dr. Selman, an authority on international adoption statistics, predicted that, globally, fewer and fewer children each year will be available for intercountry adoption, while more will be cared for domestically. Ethiopia is following that trend.

In 2009, the last year for which statistics are available, Ethiopia accounted for 15% of adoptions worldwide. That proportion could drop considerably.

Intercountry Adoption Expert Sees Less and Less Adoptions Happening

2011-03-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.familyhelper.net/news/110316future.html

Interesting Article on the Decline of International Adoption

2011-03-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.familyhelper.net/news/110315global.html

David's Birthday Party!

2011-03-22T08:38:00.001-07:00

Warning! Please only read this blog post if you are ready to make a difference...

2011-03-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

If you read this blog post and look at the photos I hope you will be led to jump into action. If you read this post and then go on with your day without this affecting you ...

http://psalmsixtyeight.blogspot.com/2011/03/under-fluffy-pajamas.html

Happy 10th Birthday David!

2011-03-17T14:27:00.001-07:00

We had David's family birthday dinner tonight...party to follow!

Conversations About Adoption in Canada

2011-03-15T17:01:00.001-07:00

http://www.endthewait.ca/tour/

Some Good Books On Adoption

2011-03-11T09:01:00.001-08:00

When Love Takes You In

2011-03-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

I know you've heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You've heard about a place called home
But there doesn't seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you're sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

by Steven Curtis Chapman

My Latest Great Read!

2011-03-07T11:11:00.000-08:00

"Generous Justice" by Timothy Keller

If you are interested in God's take on how Christians are to care for marginalized people I think you will really enjoy this book!